The Snuffalufagus is alive.....

Today was an Outdoors day! Big Boy and I were celebrating the weekend between our birthdays by having a family outing.

Last year we took them to Knowsley Safari Park. As we came to the baboon enclosure we noticed the new 'car friendly' route!

'No ' I cry, definitely not, 'lets take them the full-on baboon up-close-and-very-personal route, after all we always did it as kids!'

I was driving, Big Boy was manning the camera, with a definite Blair witch effect.

It was like a car graveyard, I was torn between not slowing down and perhaps wearing a cute baboon baby as a hub cap cover... or slowing and letting them on to do unmentionables to our car.

Note: it is funny when you can see the Merc in front getting it!

We lost a windscreen wiper trim and were lucky!

The kids screamed hysterically and tried to get in the front simultaneously.

As we left, profoundly shaken by the event, we remembered that as kids we had been similarly traumatized!

So how to top it this year!

Nothing so ambitious...

We were going to become a family who walk...in the outdoors! ( Weather dependent mumbled Big Boy) as I skipped to bed , full of the joys of being a brill 'outdoors Mummy (tomorrow)!

6am and the kids are up as usual.. so I whistle a happy tune...

( honest , after a cup of tea anyway) a...nd set to work making a mountain of sandwiches and boiling eggs. A picnic isn't a picnic without eggs..even if it is only Big Boy and I that will entertain them!

Lie to Big Boy about the weather ( it is starting to rain) .. get him out of bed and off we go...to the Great Outdoors

...very rainy on the way up, but blue skies during our 'hour beginners trek', flat and easy,

though it took 2hours because of all the collecting,twigs, sticks, small trees, pine cones, more pine cones and of course photos to prove we had done it!

See photo of tree and the famous Dam Busters dam!

But..


Picnic in the boot of the car because the rain had started, an exact parallel with last year, but there weren't any elephants watching us..just ducks which meant that most of my lovingly prepared sandwiches went their way, courtesy of Small Boy and Girl.

'Ducks don't like tuna...'

'Yes they do!'

All in all a successful day.


But we come back to a garden that looks like World War One has been recreated, earth every where, scrapes in the soil and a huge freaking hole in the bank!

The badgers have moved in! I needn't have bothered leaving home to see the Great Outdoors , it's right outside my doorstep . . . literally!

...later...

I have just come in from a run, ( no comment .. but small seismic wobbles have been reported in the Stockport vicinity) and there is crashing and crunching in the bushes like the special effects of an old Horror movie..the one where the lone female jogger gets it....

It sounds huge and I wont be going into the Great Outdoors that is the bottom of our garden in a hurry..even if Big Boy holds my hand and wears his sexy head torch!

Mums on Margaritas Mob Morecambe

While uploading my photos I came across this cracker! Whilst wishing to remain as anonymous as possible on my blog I feel that this encapsulates particularly well the mood of the night!

Bring me Sunshine!http://www.morecambe.co.uk/index.php

Maternal Instincts and Margarita's don't mix!

Half-term holidays in Morecambe.

Bring me Sunshine, in your smile,

Bring me Laughter, all the while,

In this world where we live, there should be more happiness,

So much joy you can give, to each brand new bright tomorrow

To celebrate 3 days in Morecambe with our children and no 'significant others' a girlfriend and I decided to eat out. Planning ahead, we walked to the venue and started as we mean to go on- with cocktails!

It was quite surreal, drinking cocktails in our scruffy walking clothes while simultaneously attempting to construct an origami parrot that F&B thoughtfully provide as a young un's past time!

Despite arriving at 4.45, by 6.15 our food had not arrived, and by now we were on our second round of cocktails and considering a Jug of same... ( better value in a credit crunch!). The kids had abandoned origami and colouring and were doing hand-jives and swapping seating arrangements under the table.

Whilst clearing the detritus to prepare for our main course (when oh when...) I set fire to the origami paper with the candle (for ambiance). After a good Basil Fawlty impression as I wafted the flames out we were now surrounded by a burnt ambiance that brought the waiter over...( still no mains!)

Finally our Jug of Margarita arrived closely followed by the Mains ( like a rainbow follows rain!) At this point we would have made good subjects for a Beryl Cook painting as, red-cheeked, we were full of the joys! The kids were happy and we were happy and they gave us all our drinks free to say sorry!

Replete and each clutching a balloon we set off for out moonlit wander home.

Any one fancy crossing the Irish sea on F&B balloons? Small Boy is keen...watch this space!

P.S.

Why is it that however late my children go to bed, they still are up at cock-crow! Not good when you have been drinking!

P.P.S.

Bring me Sunshine, in your eyes,

Bring me rainbows, from the skies,

Life's too short to be spent having anything but fun,

We can be so content, if we gather little sunbeams.
Be light-hearted, all day long,

Keep me singing, happy songs,

Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,

Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love.

Out of the mouth of babes!

I am stewing, literally ( beef!) and metaphorically! While I was 'in position' in front of the Hob Small Boy comes in for a Deep and Meaningful...
'Are you married to Daddy?'
'No'
'Who are you married to?'
'No-one'
'When I grow up and I am a daddy, can I get married?'


( I though he was going to ask me here but no such luck- like Father like son!) 'Yes when you find someone you are very good friends with you might get married.'
'Why are you not married to Daddy?'
'I don't know, you'll have to ask him?'
' Do you have to get married?'
'Well no, it's just something you might do if you love someone very much ...(am I wrong?)'
'I am not going to get married, I am going to be like daddy!!!!!'

Hmmm, well daddy has just got a nasty shock in the post. It was from the Passport Office and as we are trying to get Small Girl's passport through before we go to abroad in March I opened it thinking there was a problem!
And what a Problem!
As Big Boy does not have parental responsibility ( in common with all unmarried dad's in the UK, of children registered before December 2003) Then the child's' mother must write the word Mother, print full name and sign and date, 'confirming that she agrees to a passport being issued to...'

This reminds me of when I received an interrogation from Customs on the way into the Netherlands last year!
' Does the father of these children know you are taking them out of the country?'
This was nothing compared to the grilling the children received for the armed Dutch customs on the way back, they did not even speak to me just asked the children to tell them if I was their mother!
All because they have their dad's surname!!

And to cap it all my 'not an engagement ring just an I-love-you-very-much-and-it's-been-10-years' ring has lost one of it's stones! Bought under extreme duress in Bruges after a 'non-proposal' moment at the top of the Belfort tower!


Is it a message from the Gods?
I don't know what the answer is and I certainly don't know what I want anymore, I am moderately happy being a girlfriend, I don't want to be a partner! But how do we not permanently warp our children's perception of marriage?

Just in case you are wondering...Thanks Wikipedia!

Girlfriend is a term that can refer to either a female partner in a non-marital romantic relationship or a female non-intimate friend.
The term is most commonly used to describe any female person who is in a romantic relationship with another person.
Partners in a non-marital relationship are also sometimes described instead as a significant other, partner or life partner especially if the two partners are living together. At times, since "girlfriend" and "partner" mean different things to different people, the distinctions between the terms are subjective, and which term is used in a relationship will ultimately be determined by personal preference.
When used by a girl or woman about another female in a non-sexual, non-romantic context, the two-word form "girl friend" is sometimes used to avoid confusion with the sexual or romantic meaning. "Girlfriend" is usually used in terms of very close friends and usually has no sexual connotation in that sense of its usage, unless it is in the case of lesbian, bisexual and pansexual women. The term also has currency in LGBT communities and can refer to people of any gender or sexuality.
Though nuanced, there is a significant difference between "girlfriend" and "boyfriend", and "girl friend" and "boy friend". In a strictly grammatical sense, a "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" is an individual of significance with whom one shares a relationship. A "girl friend" or "boy friend", however, is simply a friend identified on the basis of gender. The transition between the two is a significant aspect of adolescent development.
This term when used between men and women does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but is often used to refer to a woman who is dating a man she was not engaged to, without implying that she is having sex with him. . It is essentially equivalent to a prior term used, "sweetheart" which is also a term of endearment
PS I am second on a Google search!

Oh I need this...! Missed my 'venting' opportunity!

Blogging is such a good destressor that one could be forgiven for thinking that I have been having a wonderfully stress free life since I last posted!

I think the answer is that the opposite has been true, I have been doing some great headless chicken impressions whilst not managing to find any down time... here I am, new Years resolution no 11 implemented on the 6Th Feb ( not bad!)

Now I am not going to go on about time flying- cos we all know it does, I mean Christmas is still a bright memory and already there is Easter chocolate everywhere you look in the supermarket, making shopping a very stressful outing with the small ones!

Anyway shopping is a thing that seems more distant than Christmas what with the 'Credit Crunch' and me working FULL TIME!

January saw a new dawn, my New Year's resolution to iron (anything- tea-towels are my favourite) lasted all of a couple of days as I got work covering for a colleague who has had an operation! I haven't worked full time since Small Girl was born!

It's a challenge to make sure I have clean clothes and tights! Who wears tights when they don't work? And my hair has had to adapt to vaguely tidy which means I have had to brush it ( sometimes). In fact when looking me over it is best to start from the bottom and work up because it doesn't improve!

Anyway the pupils have been fab and not eaten me alive, I think they like me, as there has been no repeat of the 'Pritt Stuck' pencil case onto the desk!

My home life has adapted well!

Big Boy, while still not achieving a vertical stance before I leave the house, has become adept at clearing up the kitchen last thing at night. So much so, I come down to a Martha Stewart dream environment in the morning and that is definitely the way to win a woman's heart!

All my pre-Christmas practice at seeing the hour of 6am has been valuable as I manage to slip into another day by making a first mug of tea, whilst simultaneously laughing along with Sarah Kennedy, preparing lunchboxes, making the breakfast and feeding the cat.

Where does the time go though as I seem to get no more achieved in 2hours, than I did in the mad 1 hour scramble?

Any spare time I have is spent conjuring up great cheap meals- let me count the ways you can present a turnip as a main course!! More on that subject to come!!!