Today has been a pocket-sized disaster!
By that I mean I should have consulted my pocket sized diary immediately upon awakening but...
... getting the children breakfast, making sandwiches, ironing top, straightening hair ( to avoid washing it) all took precedent!
Too late I realise I have organised to meet 3 different people in three different locations for lunch. No chance of pulling that off so have to come clean to two of them and hope they don't feel mortally insulted at being relegated to equal second best! But they are busy mums so not too sad thankfully.
Arrive on time at school- bonus! Then discover that the class I am meant to be working in have gone to Blue Planet and not told me! Before I can hightail it home I am discovered skulking in the classroom and put to good use listening to Year4.
One of them I realise I have taught before they decided to leave because ' everyone was blaming me' sic . Child has no recollection of me and struggles with his reading- not a good recommendation of my teaching skills!
Whizz home and before I can hoover carpet I am distracted by toast... then rush to 'lunch' stopping to purchase naughty cakes and flowers- only 20 minutes late...!
No lunch ( misunderstood original invite) so cream cake will have to do.
Rush to shop with 30 min to spare before picking up Small Boy. Just enough time to purchase pizza ingredients for the 'yummy-mummy' home-made pizza's the kids will make with their friends this afternoon, ( super mum status nearly achieved after this morning foul up), pause near pizza -base packet-mix before deciding to make own for extra bonus-points!
Arrive at Nursery with 5 min to spare feeling bit smug!
Then told that Small Boy has already been collected by friends Mum to take him to party which I have known about for month and forgotten!
Small Girl also expected...calamity!
Small Girl has two friends coming for tea. Plan to take them, am able to contact one Mum but not the other decide to take them anyway. Lock them in car with biscuits while whizz into supermarket for gift and card. Wrapped in car- not too bad. Arrive at party only 15 min late and feeling in charge only for Small Girl to tell everyone what original plans where and how I had forgotten special event. Humiliation complete. Must remember to look in diary not just carry it every where with me.

Quality time is fun.....

Back from a shockingly sunny weekend in Morecambe.
My bottom is very sore from all the 'fun' family cycling trips we did! Big Boy is sure it's just my aversion to bikes in general and keeps suggesting un-flattering strategies to cope with my saddle soreness.
These range from the insulting -'how about buying an old -lady style shopper bike ( is that what you would feel better on?)' to the down right outrageously offensive ' you can get bigger seats you know for people like you....'!!!! But he is trying to be helpful!!
Anyway those old -lady shoppers are a nightmare! I remember mine, from my childhood, which also folded in half! Handy if you weren't bashing it about on the bondu ( cyprus scrub-land) which meant it aged alarmingly and developed a tendency to fold-up at will. Not cool!!
Anyway every jack and his lad came out to look at the strange yellow thing in the sky. We even laid on the beach and made sandcastles! Small Boy developed this strange aversion to throwing the frisbee by the sea for fear it would float away. Needless to say we exploited this cruelly by throwing a few in the sea til he was hysterical! Oh how guilty I felt when I had to get up to him twice in the night to reassure him that the frisbees were in the beach bag and not floated away in the sea.
Not to be out done, my insomniac Small Girl demonstrated on the way home that she can whistle while fast asleep ( in the car). Is there a market for this talent I wonder- can we get money for it!
I tried to get Big Boy to open up to his softer side by asking him what he wants for his special birthday ( jewellery perhaps?) ' Not jingly-jangly stuff...!' In the end having exhausted all ideas I suggested that perhaps he was content ( hoping for some sort of compliment from the line of conversation)
'I wouldn't say that , I would say I am content with my lot'!!!!!
What does that mean? Is this another Mars Venus thing where it makes me feel like I am not making him happy? Exploiting the direction the conversation was going, while trying not to mention the M word, I continue.
' That's Ok. I know you haven't got the zing. I have. I am completely content and in Love with you but I know that you aren't and I imagine that oneday you will meet that someone and find your zing.....'
No compliment or rebuttal forthcoming...so on I go digging deeper!!
'...and thats ok I love you so much and am glad to have met you so when you go for that zing I will cope...'
Ok so no undying declaration of undying love or a proposal (? as if!) But Big Boy... the man I love for who he is (and that includes innate lack of a romantic gene) grabs my bike-tortured leg and gives it a squeeze...sometimes thats all it needs!!

Oh sunny day!
Started well as I got on the scales to find- shock - that I have lost 6Lb since Monday. Thats 'Morose Monday' when I decided to avoid fat club as I seemed to have put on 4 lb mysteriously despite my 10 km run that weekend! The mystery can be easily solved if I choose to remember a Manchester Lemon Bun to help cope with Small Girl's two hour wait at doctors to be diagnosed with Conjunctivitis. An illness that means she is completely healthy but cannot got to school! Another week where my employers have to do without me.
Will I become dispensible? That was the dilemma the Lemon Bun solved!
Anyway- sunny day and both kids at school! A freedom feeling is driving to 'grown-up' friend's house on the motorway singing to 'The Automatic-Monster' at the top of my voice and feeling inspired to yell,
"CHOOOON!!!!!!!" ,who says I am too old to be cool! ( ME!)
Primal Screaming really does work you know!
Maybe I need to keep the small people in the car with me, their taste in music is better and they ban me from singing- for my own good.
Handy hint from The Big Boy: if I wash the socks and pants separate from the really sweaty dirty stuff (!!!) it will be cleaner!?
Anway back to the missing 6lb. Where has it gone and how and more importantly will it be back? Answers on a post please. Nearest correct answer wins a Manchester Lemon bun- highly recommended.

thumb-things up

Why is it hard to do something right??

Today at work I managed to tip the mop bucket over in the toilets, so the small patch of child wee that I was meant to be clearing up turned into a large flood with a crowd of 3 year olds pushing for a good view .

The aforementioned mop then took revenge choosing to snap off at the top stabbing me in the chin- making me look like a battered wife... no sorry make that girlfriend (not partner!) and gouging a small but significant part of skin off finger- look!

Final insult was having to write it up in the Accident Book! Staff injured by mop, floor still dirty, staff will not have to pay for mop. Just the latest in a long accident prone history!

Ah well at least my kids think I am great...or in the words of Small Boy.

' Love you more than tigers, you are the fattest in our family' Leaving me with the dilemma of how to handle this in a good parenting way. Do I

a) say " Yes dear I am a bit fat but that is why I am running and going to Weight Watchers so that I can be thinner and be more healthy..."

or

b) say "the word fat is not a nice word and makes Mummy sad so it is banned on our house."

I chose option b) but then chose to follow it up with this threat when he wouldn't eat my 'healthy' tea.

" You don't want to be like **** at Nursery, have you noticed how his clothes are tight and he can't run or ride the trikes. He doesn't eat his healthy food- you don't want to be like that do you? Eat your meatballs and rice then you can have your Bueno bar.!!"

Helpful hints on good parenting skills c/o above.