Help, I need some Body, Help, not just any body, I need my body...just less of it!

I have to have a deadline.
The 1st September 2011 is it. Tomorrow I am going on a diet. I know it is not good to deprive yourself but to be fair I like ALL food so I will have to cut out something.
I have tried 'FatReducers' a humiliating 5 times, no course working as well as the first time. Each visit I start weighing more and give up having lost less. The financial cost however is more each year (reminds you it is a business)!
So following the example of @jojohedgehog who is quitting smoking with the support of her FB & Twitter friends, I am roping in the help of Twitter.
My thinking being, I am letting down a whole lot more people if I don't try & I am documenting my travails, putting it into print so as to be held accountable!
I am doing this for my family and my health.
The more help the better. Today... @wifenotlodger: So any DIET suggestions? As long as they are safe & palatable I will give them a go....(use the tag) #WifeysTwitterDiet ..and Exercise tips, I need ideas... #WifeysTwitterDiet
First responses,
@wombat37: I used SparkPeople. It's free, full of all sorts of stuff & help. Lost 5 stone using the site. I immediately register, site looks good & is free!
@stickymitts:spark people is pretty good, takes a while at first to enter all the nutritional info of British foods though...It's good for emphasising the importance of exercise too, which I think is the most important bit. @wombat37:Quite a few are already on there, just search entries by other people.I also have a "food" called Calories which I've set up to be 1 cal per gram. Easy to enter just a number then. I've made a lot of good friends on there too, through the social teams. Lots of good support. @parkrunner: Good luck with diet.My advice is only way to lose weight is to eat a good diet but small portions exercise as much as poss>...and don't restrict yourself too much or you'll fail. I lost a couple of stone 6 years ago and kept it off by doing that
@weids_l just cut out bread and white flour worked for me Xxxx hugs
So I am all set. There is some great advice, which I need and will appreciate.
I will share #WifeysTwitterDiet with the ephemeral internet and hope it helps!!

Time to think, time to change.

Life is sweet here in Anglesey. I have had space to relax and think.
September for me as a teacher is 'New Year', I make plans, decisions and resolutions.
These days, I don't recognise myself, it seems through being a mother & girlfriend my appearance has become last in a long to-do list.
I do not know how I should look, what I should wear.
I have bin-bags of clothes, that I have swelled out of, but hope to shrink into again someday.
My hair neither flatters or deceives. It proclaims to the world at large that I have lost touch.
My weight has gradually grown over the years, encouraged by child-bearing and depression.
I now wear the weight of my past experiences like large panniers, holding the mistakes and traumas of the last decade.
But I am here now, at an indefinable start line, that were it to gave a title it would be, The Rest Of My Life.
I have a husband who loves me and children who are old enough to make their own decisions and choices, needing not the physical sheperding of the past, merely emotional support and 'huggage'.
I am rich.
What happens next is up to me.
What happens next is truly exciting.
Watch this space...

A review wot I wrote...

Green Man fires up first-timers « FamilyFestivals

I always knew the time would come when I had to talk about S-E-X with Small Boy and Girl.
I have tried to be open and relaxed.
I was given this lovely book when I was little- took me years to think about procreation without wearing striped jumpers!

Whilst Big Boy sprints for the bathroom swathed in towels , I try to brazen it out naked styly!
Every so often, at bathtime, I have used to opportunity to air the correct language ( as recommended by the Sex Education advice at school) , Remember to wash your VAGINA, clean behind your SCROTUM
 (the children look bewildered as I over enunciate and bellow, through embarrassment, rendering the words foreign and unusual)!
This doesn't always work out  quite as you hope- after a long discussion on mustaches with Small Boy, he wandered into the bathroom as I was showering, glanced across casually at my 'front bottom' and said " Nice Mustache, Mum!"
You try and answer each question as honestly as possible, but who amongst us does not use some shortening  phrase, front bottom, willy etc.I have to say I hate the word penis, just saying it makes my lips press together in a Mary Whitehouse way, but I have persevered using correct parlance where possible.
So now,it was the time to reveal that the birds and bees are not so far short of the truth,I researched books on the internet and made my selection.

Mummy Laid an Egg- Babette Cole

Where Willy Went- Nicholas Allen

I took the books round to a friends one evening where we drank wine and evaluated them, ( yes really and a cracking night it was too I can't recommend it enough , maybe there is a whole new market- an alternative to 'Baby Showers)!'
I planned to read them the stories while camping, there they could ask me as many questions as they liked, get it all out of their system before going back to school!I hoped the 8yro would benefit most and the 6yro take in as much information as his brain needed at that age...Of course Gales and rips in tents foreshortened that plan so it actually occurred at we were walking down the street...
"Mummy why don't you have another baby? I mean you are a lady so why not?" -Small Boy
I decided to seize this opportunity and run;
" Well do you know how babies are made?" Silence.
"Well it involves a seed and an egg."
" A seed!" The look on 8yros face was so disgusted that I thought I was going to get the giggles so I hurriedly postponed it until we were back at home. I sat them on the sofa and read both books.
The End.
No reaction, no questions...like a stone into deep water with no ripples.
However I feel something will emerge when they have had time to digest the information ( I can't wait!).

Just hoping the questions get asked at home - though I fear they might be aired elsewhere so I apologise in advance if your child comes home having been 'educated' by mine!
P.S.
Small Boy seemed excited about finding out what his wrinkly, saggy testicles were for ( perhaps previous to this he thought they were excess skin waiting to fall off?)